I'm having one of those days... and I have them way more often that I would like to admit... but... I'm having one of those days where I'm sad, anxious, somewhat crazy... for no identifiable reason... or I should say... no rational reason. Every poor decision, every sin I've ever committed, every weakness, everything I can think of for which to beat myself up... It's all right in front of my face today. I'm questioning my judgement on recent decisions. I'm feeling guilty for things over which I have no control. I'm thinking my friends feel I'm the most annoying person on the face of the earth. I'm obsessing over ridiculous stuff.
And here's the thing... I know it's not logical. I know most of what I'm feeling right now isn't true. I'm currently telling myself to stop going down this road on which I somehow found myself late last night. But I don't know if I can stop. And in some ways, letting myself continue to go down this road of self-condemnation would be easier. It would be easier because it is so very familiar... which is a sick and wacked routine.
I wish I could wrap up this blog entry by saying that I'll take the nearest exit ramp off this highway of insanity...
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